MOSCO JOKES
I will miss Jonathan ooo. Now that Buhari has won , will Buhari's wife make Nigerians laugh and forget their sorrows like first lady Dame Patience does? This woman has increased the life span of an average Nigerian. 1xamples of her "award winning speeches" include: 1- * Nigeria is a great CONTINENT. 2- * My husband and Sambo IS good people. 3- * I rather KILL myself than commit SUICIDE. 4- * My fellow widows. 5- * I travelled to abroad to rest in peace. 6- * My husband is the best couple on earth. 7- * The doctors are responding to treatment. 8- * For those who said I speech bad English, I left them for God. 9- * Ojukwu is dead, but his Manhood still lives on. 10- * Na only you waka come? 11- * Chai ! Chai !! Chai !!! This blood we are "sharing" 12- * diaris God o... 13- * on behave of N2million I donate my family. 14- *To all those who think Goodluck Jonathan has failed, I have a question for you. When a child fails an exam, isn't the child supposed to be repeated? The President was once a Child and the Senators were once a Children 15. My Fellow Widows 16. A Good Mother takes care of his Children 17. The people sitting before you here were once a Children 18. Yes we are all happy for the effort,it is not easy to carry second in an international competition like this one - Addressing Press men after Female Under 19 Fifa World Cup 19. The Bombers who born them?wasn't it not a woman? They were once a Children now a adult now they are bombing women and children making some children a widow 20. My Heart feels sorry for these Children who have become Widows by losing their Parents for one reason or another 21. We should have love for our fellow Nigerians irrespective of their NATIONALITY? 22. vote UMBLERRA and press your finger for UMBLERRA . Please support and honour Nigeria first lady by sharing this with all your contacts Don't laugh alone.
10 importance of fuel scarcity
1. My compound is noiseless
because ‘I pass my
neighbour’ generators are on
sabbatical leave.
2. Wives are happy because husbands who like
hanging out are now staying at
home with the
family because drinks outside
are not cold and no
fuel to drive out. 3. All the housewives are cooking
good food
because no more Telemundo/Zee
world. Chai!
4. Kids are reading their books
since watching TV needs fuel.
5. No more congestion in
network since many
people’s phones are off.
6. Browsing & downloading is
fast…no one wants browsing to kill his or her
battery.
7. Everyone sleeps very early
now.
9. There are MORE PRAYERS &
less distractions. 10. No more go slow SEGKLEF
1) Is Only in DoroBuci Video
that someone will play
Golf at
Ikoyi Lagos Nigeria and
it will land at white
house washington DC USA.
2) When your life is in
Darkness, pray to God
to free you..if u
are still in dakness after
praying..pleasepay your
electricity Bill.
3) Some girls with Bow Legs
wearing Leggings Be
Like PLIERS.
4) If you Marry a Girl that can't cook.. Bros
your case dey
Mr. Biggs
5) The way Manchester
City is going down..they
will soon discover Oil
6) Guys, when a girl say
you are the best man in
her life,
don't be suprised to see
yourself standing beside her
husband on her wedding
day.
7) If u snap with with
digital camera and you
still look ugly, my dear forget it, your
ugliness is Peak Milk Cos
It's in you.
8) The best way to
know a Nigerian Girls
real name is to ask for her account
details...that is when
Natasha Hills turns to
"Chinasa Okoro .
9) You don't have to be
in the UK to be OK..help comes
from above, not frm
abroad.
10) Garri should be in
the first aid box..that
thing save lives. 11) To The Ladies, If
As A Child You were Not
Featured As? A
Little Bride In
Someone Wedding,
Then You Were Very Ugly As A Child.
12) Even If You Are Just
Out From A Prison An
Average
Nigerian Girl Will Still Ask
"What Did You Bring For Me?".
13) PDP members
that're decamping to
APC is this the
"CHANGE" they're talking
about ??? MOSCO
Oya laugh small jare…
I was driving down a street
along Alausa, having just finished
answering a call, when a policeman, suddenly, opened the
passenger door, entered and
jam-locked it.
(The door lock is faulty)
As usual, he wanted
‘something’ from me for calling while driving…
Suddenly, he saw the big
Rothweiller dog, Jackie, at the
back seat of the car, with
tongue stuck out, spittle
dripping and fangs barring, staring fiercely at him.
Policeman: (Shaking) Ah! You
carry dog?
Me: (I bone face) Yes, I carry
dog. Dat one na offense?
Policeman: (Feeling uncomfortable) Na where una
dey come from?
Me: From hospital.
Policeman: Ehen! you sick?
Me: No, na person wey the dog
bite we go see. The person almost die sef.
Policeman: (Terribly shaken by
now) Ehen! But why the dog dey
shake head like that?
Me: Na so im dey do if e wan bite
person. Policeman: The dog know you?
Me: Yes nah, no be my dog?
Policeman: (Sweating) This your
door, how you dey open am?
Me: How you take enter?
Policeman: Abeg! Na since I dey try open am, but e no open.
(The dog was now getting
impatient and gave a small
growl, its tongue almost
touching the policeman’s left
ear). Policeman: (Now sliding forward)
Oga, I take God beg you, open
the door for me make I comot. I
no go collect anythin from you.
Me: How much you go pay me?
Policeman: Ah! I neva hustle anythin since morning. Na only
N1,000 dey wit me.
Me: You neva ready. (I looked
back at the dog).
Policeman: Ok ok ok ok ok, e
reach N2,000. The oda N1,000 na my wife own, but I go give you
join.
(Now, close to tears as the dog
was becoming really impatient)
Oga, I be……g, Oga, sorry. Take
the N2,000 make you open the door plssssssse!
Me: Oya, bring am. (I collected
the N2,000 & allowed him out of
the car)
Policeman: God punish you. Idiot,
e no go ever better for you and your yeye dog. Wicked man!!!
Don’t be stingy, Share with
your Friends and Put a Smile on
their Face today..MOSCO
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